Within the bounds of ambition and growth, many a time is one faced with an hour of awakening, as the setting ablaze of a dragon previously in slumber or the dawn to a chaotic night spent by a warrior, the demand of light after a sleepless night of darkness. It comes to you like a lover tiptoeing in the dark, or a revelation in the mountains, an acceptance of the disappointment and the perpetrator in the face. It is then when either the step falls back or a hand moves forward, a heart disintegrates beneath the weight or the brain ignites towards a promising optimism which was previously but a dream in the slumber, a warm blanket hoping to fetch the cold off, but there are times where the cold can only be fetched off by exiting the warm to adapt to the cold, the discomfort and a leap of faith.
The biggest lesson I claim that I have observed is that it takes effort to be a part of something that carries significance and to persevere through the importance of it no matter how difficult it gets, because the point is that, it is worth it and you know it because if it wasn’t then you wouldn’t have been there in the first place. Situations and circumstances in our lives require a sense of commitment, determination and courage all together and yes it isn’t a matter of waking up one day and deciding that this is what you choose to live and die for and with, it is a constant conviction, a creed you have to live by for an elongated period until and unless you deem it wise or you deem it incorrect just in time to find wisdom knocking on your door.
I have often wondered how one can find themselves so lost in a contemplation worth worldly means that one forgets to eat, to sleep, to converse, to see and to envision, they forget to live in the pursuit of something that runs behind them with equal zeal and zest, like an unanswered question dwelling in the back of the mind waiting for it to grow wings, gain freedom and fly away the moment the answer sets in and all you can do for the time being is sacrifice your sanity to entertain the temporary or eternal visitor for when it comes, it doesn’t leave without a mark.
The only thing that should keep you on your feet during a time where there is no direction, what you should do all depends on what you want to do and why and how. It is a matter of endless courage, a continuous hacking away on a stone wall or like water on marble, you never see the results immediately but there is a constant of hope that is to lead you to that which is there to see. No matter how slow or time-taking the process might be, it is worth your time if it kills you to not do it. The only reason a runner stands on the start line is upon the hope of crossing the finishing line, he or she knows that it is worth running for, but what matters, in the end, is when he or she crosses the finishing line which is proportional to how much effort he or she is willing to invest.
Indeed, it is difficult to find a direction when you have none and to figure out what it is you have to do without a direction. But then again it also makes things very clear to me, how significant direction is in our lives. How without it, we feel like shattered, battered and beaten humans trying to say afloat amidst a tsunami, a destruction of all sanity we are left with. Without a direction, you feel as if whatever it is your living is nothing but a lie, a facade to keep us imprisoned with the one thing we think is worthy, but then again worth and imprisonment do not go together because if something is worth waking up through the night for and losing your appetite for, it is worth not giving up on.
However, before the brain makes a rational or an irrational decision, a way of life and an action of thought, there needs to be a line somewhere, a limit. And though I apprehend the binds of a limit and how underwhelming and unexciting it sounds in between the pursuit of not giving up, but too much of anything can be harmful. And though this limit isn’t to de-motivate someone or to hold them back from the utmost of their excellence, it is just to apprehend whether at one stage in life you have had enough of a certain thing that its worth has vanished and you’re ready to move on for it is fine, change is the only constant in life OR that even if you’re tired and at your limit, it is still worth not giving up on. You see limits don’t always define us, they do a little more than just define us at times, they show us what we could do inside the comfort zone, but how much much more can be accomplished outside it and there wasn’t one who was called a trooper for no reason.
“There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it’s going to be a butterfly.”
– Buckminster Fuller
The Genres of Life 